Vad fick dig att le idag?
- Thread starter Nursey
- Start date
Kliade naturligtvis i fingrarna men köpte noll st, faktiskt.
steffe
"Mannen som talar med whisky"
Den där kan nog få det att klia i fingrarna.............Kliade naturligtvis i fingrarna men köpte noll st, faktiskt.
blacktriple
Har två Aprilior!
Kul.
MickeZX7R
Posör
Satt idag och skulle göra kort till morsans födelsedag. Det är en tradition att jag alltid gör egna kort på alla högtider. Gick igenom de tidigare för att se så inte konceptet jag hittade på var upptaget. Då hittar jag denna pärla. Morsdagskort 2005 med farsans knarr på!!! 
Helt makalöst. Jag tror inte hon uppskattade detta kort, det åkte nog rakt ner i soporna
Helt makalöst. Jag tror inte hon uppskattade detta kort, det åkte nog rakt ner i soporna
I Umeå har vi ett tragiskt vägprojekt som har dragit ut enormt på tiden och kostat enorma summor, för något år sedan var det någon som tröttnade och dekalade en av avstängningsskyltarna med "öppna vägjäveln nu"
På ett avsnitt av vägjäveln är det en bro, som dom lyckades tappa under installation så den fick byggas om.
Nu har vägjäveln öppnats för trafik, och till och med brojäveln är öppen för trafik, och när media ska rapportera om det så använder dom namnen "Vägjäveln" och "Brojäveln" som har bitit sig fast i folkmun...
Då vet man att projektet har varit misslyckat. (det skulle ha varit klart 2019)
På ett avsnitt av vägjäveln är det en bro, som dom lyckades tappa under installation så den fick byggas om.
Nu har vägjäveln öppnats för trafik, och till och med brojäveln är öppen för trafik, och när media ska rapportera om det så använder dom namnen "Vägjäveln" och "Brojäveln" som har bitit sig fast i folkmun...
Då vet man att projektet har varit misslyckat. (det skulle ha varit klart 2019)
steffe
"Mannen som talar med whisky"
A radio station in Australia ran a phone in competition to find the most embarrassing moment in listeners lives. The final four were:
4th Place:
While in line at the bank one afternoon my toddler decided to release some pent up energy and started to run amok. I was able to grab hold of her arm after receiving looks of disgust from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right now, she would be punished. To my horror she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening. "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell grandma that I saw you kissing daddy's willy last night."
After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers stopped doing what they were doing.
I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing that I heard as the doors closed behind me were screams of laughter.
3rd Place:
It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone.
As we lay down in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a pigggy back ride down to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss a call we didn't have time to get dressed.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of people yelled SURPRISE.
My entire family - Parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins as well as my friends, were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed an eternity. Since then no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.
2nd Place:
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got to the checkout she learned that one of the items had no price tag or bar code.
The checkout girl got on the public address system which boomed out across the store for everyone to hear. "Price check for Tampax super size."
But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for 'thumbtacks' and replied in a businesslike tone, his voice booming over the same public address system. "Do you want the kind that you push in with your thumb or the kind that you belt in with a hammer."
1st Place:
And the winner is......
This happened at a major Australian University during a biology lecture.
A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked. "If I understand you correctly, you are saying that there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?"
The professor responded yes adding some statistical data. Raising her hand again the girl asked. "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her books and without another word walked out of the class.
However as she was heading for the door the professors reply was a classic.
Totally straight faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet because the tastebuds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not at the back of your throat."
4th Place:
While in line at the bank one afternoon my toddler decided to release some pent up energy and started to run amok. I was able to grab hold of her arm after receiving looks of disgust from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right now, she would be punished. To my horror she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening. "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell grandma that I saw you kissing daddy's willy last night."
After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers stopped doing what they were doing.
I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing that I heard as the doors closed behind me were screams of laughter.
3rd Place:
It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone.
As we lay down in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a pigggy back ride down to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss a call we didn't have time to get dressed.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of people yelled SURPRISE.
My entire family - Parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins as well as my friends, were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed an eternity. Since then no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.
2nd Place:
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got to the checkout she learned that one of the items had no price tag or bar code.
The checkout girl got on the public address system which boomed out across the store for everyone to hear. "Price check for Tampax super size."
But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for 'thumbtacks' and replied in a businesslike tone, his voice booming over the same public address system. "Do you want the kind that you push in with your thumb or the kind that you belt in with a hammer."
1st Place:
And the winner is......
This happened at a major Australian University during a biology lecture.
A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked. "If I understand you correctly, you are saying that there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?"
The professor responded yes adding some statistical data. Raising her hand again the girl asked. "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her books and without another word walked out of the class.
However as she was heading for the door the professors reply was a classic.
Totally straight faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet because the tastebuds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not at the back of your throat."
Jag har sett rangligare hemmabyggen för att komprimera fjädrar...
Jag hatar fjädrar innerligt då dom har försökt skada mig hela livet.
SJP
Lattepappa
- Gick med
- 15 Apr 2007
- Hoj
- Tusenkubikade Falken & Vansinnesgrön plastmisil (i bitar)
Det finns många spännande sätt att skada sig på fjädrar.
Dom blir ju liksom aldrig längre än dom var från början...
Här är ett ganska milt exempel.
Annars kan det ju vara när man försöker sträcka ut en som ska dras på plats, så slinter man och ena fjäderkroken bestämmer sig för att parkera i handen.
SJP
Lattepappa
- Gick med
- 15 Apr 2007
- Hoj
- Tusenkubikade Falken & Vansinnesgrön plastmisil (i bitar)
Ja, visst, fingrarna kan man ju till att passa lite.
Men folk verkar ju tro att de skall skjuta huvet genom taket åt en, och mer än ett litet "pjong" brukar det inte vara när det slinter.
Det kan göra lite ont om de bestämmer sig för att lasta av hela den lagrade energin i ditt ansikte.
Bytte framfjädrar på min Saab 900 Turbo, mitten nittiotalet. Använde då två sådana där fjäderkompressorer med hakar och mutter. Precis när jag skulle plocka ut fjädern släppte den och for i väggen 3m bort, slog upp ett rejält hål i spånskivan. På vägen tog den med sig min armbandsklocka… nära ögat, bokstavligen.
Det är inte fjädern som är problemet; fjädern skapar däremot kraften. Och sitter det lösa saker på fjädern kan det sluta illa.
Waait for it..
..står säkert på fel sida, också.
..står säkert på fel sida, också.
