MotoGP Preview
Round 2: Jerez
(20/03/2007)
Where am I? I'm stood in a narrow cobbled street with a gaggle of angry bulls running down being chased by picket-pocketers and other national tradesmen. In the distance someone's working…but don't get confused it's a foreign guy working for the E.U. building the locals a new road 'cos they're poor.
To my right there's a fiesta just starting. This fiesta is to celebrate the end of the last one and is a great opportunity for the locals to let their hair down and not go to work.
To my left some scruffy vagabond geezer is playing the guitar while a bird in a posh flamenco dress is dancing in a big vat of grapes. She's stunning to look at but, just like her mother, once she hits middle age she'll be transformed into a haggered prune face with disturbing amounts of facial hair.
So where am I? That's right stuck in the bloody freezing UK dreaming of being in the south of Spain.
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Luckily our MotoGP chums needn't dream as this week's holiday destination is Jerez, deep in sherry country. They deserve it though - that trip to Qatar last time must have been terrible with the distinct lack of nightclubs, water parks and general arsing-around amenities.
On the track and the two favourites are stinky Rossi and little Pedrosa.
Isn't it the same old story? Rossi's fighting a new enemy? Jnr came and went. Biaggi came and went. Gibbers came and went…usually into the gravel. And now we have little Thumbelina and his gaze of purest granite. The fight continues…
Last time out in the desert Rossi's bike appeared to be powered by a Proton V5 as the Duke of Stoner, and his toothy 13 year old grin, breezed passed with ease. Jerez should suit the wheezy doddering Yam as a lack outright power isn't too much of hindrance.
Despite being much faster than Rossi in Qatar the tiny Spanish Honda rider was lacking when it came to a) braking and b) puberty. The second could be induced with hormone treatment but the former must be addressed by Pedrosa himself if he ever wants to beat the curly Italian.
The most important thing if these two riders do go head-to-head is that one of them ends up being punted off into the gravel. Remember when it happened to Gibernau? How brilliant was that? Now purists may argue that that's not right. "A well time and skilful passing manoeuvre is why we watch." But can you recollect any other part of that season better?
What would be best is if Thumbelina were to get the 'Portuguese Hayden-mist' and send himself and Rossi to catch-vines around the track perimeter. We need more fights…although even with Rossi being as camp as a caravan site in Brighton not many would ever back Pedrosa in a punch-up.
Hang on? What about the Dukes? Didn't they win last year? Indeed they did. Capirossi took the win and Gibbers, on the other Pestomiso machine could have pushed him to the line if he'd not decided to play his 'out in a ball smoke' comedy card.
Series leader Casey Stonehead could, again, surprise the world and win again. An Edwards victory would surprise the world yet more.
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Team Scot bryter med sponsorn Humangest för resten av säsongen.
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Det är nu 100 race sedan Suzuki vann ett torrace senast.
