Bikerbitch
Stolt mamma
[Fick en rolig historia på mailen idag. Det mest skrämmande att det finns tjejer därute som beter sig såhär..]
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
husband on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,
lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear,
let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,
I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
husband on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,
lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear,
let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,
I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
