Roliga historier

Masonit

Gudomlig sporthojare
Gick med
10 Jun 2003
Ort
Helsingborg
Hoj
Ja.
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

-----------------

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

:hihi

\Masonit
 
Vet du om att det kommit ut
en slags Viagra för kvinnor
på marknaden nu?

Jo, det heter Vivegra.
 
Nitrogen skrev:
Vet du om att det kommit ut
en slags Viagra för kvinnor
på marknaden nu?

Jo, det heter Vivegra.

Fan då måste gumman min ha ingått i testgruppen i flera år....
 
Vad kallar men en bög i Lappland för?


Vad kallar man en dildo i Lappland?


...sin kåta fru... :hihi
 
This one's for the girls....

> A young girl on a year's training course in South Africa,
> recently received
> a "Dear John" letter from her boyfriend back home.
>
> It read as follows:
>
> Dear Mary,
> I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance
> between us is just
> too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice,
> since you've been
> gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please
> return the
> picture of me that I sent to you.
> Love, John
>
>
>
> Mary, with hurt feelings, asked her colleagues for any
> snapshots they could
> spare of their boyfriends, brothers, ex-boyfriends, uncles,
> cousins, etc. In
> addition to the picture of John, Mary included all the other
> pictures of the
> pretty lads she had collected from her buddies. There were 57
> photos in that
> envelope, along with this note:
>
> Dear John,
> I'm so sorry, but I can't remember who the hell you are.
> Please take your
> picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
> Take Care, Mary

:hihi
 
Det ska ju vara, "vad säger man till en kvinna med TVÅ blåögon?
Inget, Hon har redan blivit tillsagd två gånger"
 
*/ ?>
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